


the point of no return

by Modlisznik



Category: The Technomancer (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Guilt, He Didn't Ask For Any Of This, Post-Canon, Reunions, Zach is so very tired, so many people died and left him to deal with their bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 21:37:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18599887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Modlisznik/pseuds/Modlisznik
Summary: Viktor Watcher is dead, and now Zach has to deal with his private technomancer - Alan.





	the point of no return

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Righting Wrongs of the Past](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18099089) by [Salmaka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salmaka/pseuds/Salmaka). 



> Salmaka - it's your fault :*

\- You broke my tooth.

\- You had it coming.

\- That's fair. But what now?

\- No ASC fuckers in my rover. - Amelia spate on the ground. - He can run behind us on foot for all I fuckin' care.

Zach was tired. Hollow. As if his emotions decided that it's enough bullshit for today, thank you very much, come back tomorrow. Or next year.

But the bullshit was still far from over.

And he was tired, mind, soul and body. It was one of the longest days of his life, and certainly the longest fight. He was drained, dizzy. His ribs were definitely broken; his left shin was probably broken too, but for now, the adrenaline allowed him to walk, more or less. Blood was still pouring from his nose; he tried to lick it off, but it didn't help much, so he let it just drip down his chin, making a big crimson stain on his jacket. The rest just froze on his face, making it difficult to move his lips, to smile. Not like he was feeling like smiling right now.

Even through the blood, his nostrils were full of the sour, acidic stench of a burned fabric, from the spots where the venom of the great Leviathan melted his clothes. He was fairly certain his skin underneath was burnt too.

He was so fucking tired.

And now this.

\- I'm not ASC - Alan protested, unusually quietly for him. - Never was. I was... ASF. - Something between a laughter and a bark escaped his mouth, short and bitter. - Abundance Special Forces. Freshly created.

Andrew snorted.

\- So you got your promotion after all. Was it worth it? To be Viktor's pet Mancer?

\- It felt like I was getting somewhere. At last.

\- You're not Mancer either. - Perhaps Zach shouldn't point that out, but well, he was tired. And petty too, sometimes. 

\- I'm pretty sure this little shit is known as Alan Mancer. Or was he lying about that too?

\- Only by blood. Not initiated.

\- Only by being a mutant. - Alan bared his teeth in a sour smile. - That was the big secret, right? The one they wanted to keep away from me? Well, looks like I know all about it now. - He scowled. - First-hand mutant experience. Although I doubt it counts as an initiation.

Zach tried to imagine it - to go through this rite of passage, to learn something so important about yourself, with no one around to reassure you. Nobody to point out that you are not alone. That this knowledge - this mutation - does not make you lesser, but it makes you belong.

Only there was no Master, no Sean with him. There was Viktor Watcher. And he made Alan feel like he's not a person anymore.

\- It shouldn't be like this. - Zach pointed at the dome, now quiet and still; the fight was over. - It's for the family.

\- I don't think I have a family, Zach. - Alan bit his lip. - After I brought ASC to our home.

\- You broke down the gates. I was there.

\- I killed them. Not personally, not… But it's my fault.

\- Yes, partially, but… you helped to make it happen.

Alan looked him in the eyes. Zach didn't know what he wanted - expected to see; he doubted his eyes expressed anything now. He was so tired.

Andrew stuck his staff in the snow, rested his hands on the other end. He kept his distance, but was still here, watchful, and Zach knew, that whatever will happen next, he'll have his back. He was grateful.

\- I'm the great master now - he said.

\- You are... But of course you are. - Alan rolled his eyes; a familiar sight. - Just fuck my life, I guess.

\- Ian, Connor, Sean… they fucked up a lot, no?

\- Yes, they did. - Andrew smiled slightly, tightened his lips. - They were only humans. Who would have thought. And now they're dead; we have to deal with their mess.

\- Wait, you say… - Alan looked at Andrew, then back at Zach. - Is Sean gone too?

\- Yes, Alan. They're all dead now. - He sighed. He didn't have strength for anything more.

\- Is this also my fault?

\- No. This was his own making.

\- I wanted to… I just wanted to show them. - Suddenly, Alan seemed lost. - Show them what I can do. I just wanted them to… - His voice broke. He took a deep breath, then another. - I fucked up, Zach. I'm sorry.

Zach thought about the ancient gates of the Chapel disappearing in the blast, metal debris like a swarm of insects hitting the stone pillars, the benches, ricocheting off the shield Ian conjured to protected them, one last time.

Where is the point of no return? How far can you go to believe there's no hope for you, so you won't even ask for another chance - and then all what's left for you is to go forward, forward, into darkness?

Was that what drove Viktor Watcher all the way to the end of the world? Was that what got Sean killed?

Shadows, he was so tired.

\- You are a fool, Alan - he said. Perhaps it'd be fitting to point his finger at him, but it was broken as well. - Arrogant, pretentious, selfish, ignorant fool.

\- I am. - Alan was looking down. Tired too, defeated.

\- Lying, entitled, backstabbing coward.

\- See you picked up some words...

\- I didn't finish. You are an idiot, Alan, an absolute buffon, a moron of gargantuan proportions, a cretin. - He made two quick steps, closing the distance between them, and hugged him. - But you're our cretin.

Zach rather felt than heard the gasp that escaped Alan's mouth. The man froze, stiff like a concrete statue.

He's not used to this, Zach realized. To be hugged.

He pulled him even closer, resting his chin on Alan's shoulder.

\- It's ok. It's going to be ok.

Finally, Alan's hands clenched on Zach's jacket. He was shuddering, Zach couldn't tell - from emotions, exhaustion, or from the cold. Over his shoulder, Andrew shook his head and showed him finger guns. Zach grinned in response.

Perhaps it will bite him in the ass later. But then, perhaps not.

It felt good - to get his family back instead or losing it, just for once.

\- You said, "no ASC in your rover", Amelia - he said, stepping back. - What about an idiot? Will you find a place for one more idiot?

\- Tsh! - She threw her arms in the air. - At this point, it's basically an idiot wagon, so… why the fuck not?

After a brief fight with the fabric, Zach took off his warm jacket and handed it to Alan.

\- Fluff up, man. It'd be a shame if you'd die from pneumonia before reaching the Valley.

The man looked at the jacket, then at Zach, then back at his hands.

\- Are you sure about this? I mean, after everything I've done...

\- I'm a Rogue, remember? It's kinda my thing to pick up the trash and see if it's any good. - He laughed and patted Alan on the back, broken fingers be damned. - Come on, brother, let's go home.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for stopping by! And so many thanks for the folks from the Tech Discord, for continuing to be awesome and supportive. It's my 20 published fic! (and it's about Alan, wtf 🤣)


End file.
